It seems that recently I've developed a new found interest in multiple people, things, and ideas. Some would say this is a normal part of life; everyday you discover something new, embark on another conquest, fall victim to a higher power. But I don't feel normal at all. I feel different... not different as in "dude the world wants to tarnish my mind so i'll acquiesce to an alternative lifestyle to shield myself from reality". No. I mean different in terms of perception. I percieve life in a completely different light from anyone I know. Even those who I feel are quite similar to me are indeed mere blemishes in the overall shadow reflecting in the mirror. You know... when you look at your shadow in a mirror, very rarely are you by yourself. There are different objects around whose shadows are also being reflected; these reflections often unterfere with the "virgin" appearance of your own unique highlight. So anyway, my difference from "the rest" makes it very difficult for people to understand me- the generic people of the world may long for this distortion of perception, but I who lives, breathes, and dreams differently longs to "fit in". I am beyond thankful to LIFE in itself for not making me different to the point that I cannot associate with the general public. I love people, I love new ideas, but I am on a different frequency when it comes to mental faculty and imagination. My values are also very deeply etched in me. I always see myself as an African Ashanti Warrior (lol) in the Middle Ages decked to the neck in his highest battle regalia preparing to fight off temptation. I love to see how little people know me... I like it that way; only those who i feel are worthy enough to see my introspective side will ever know it exists. This is mostly family... cousins especially. Wooaap. Sometimes I wonder if even my closest friends have a good picture of who I am. I know by all means there is a skewed picture of ME but I wonder just HOW skewed it is. It may seem wrong but i intentionally give off certain pieces in order to give you the "Edem" I think you deserve to see. Which Edem do You See?
I feel like I should be more open to the general public about myself but as I ranted about in an earlier blog, the world is full of Foolish People. I love you all but you're fools. I too am a fool, but like a flu shot, I've been given small doses of myself to eventually make me immune to my own stupidity. L.I.F.E.
*This marks the first indtrospective blog I've written without irritation. lol yayeee.
Okie Dokie? Okie Dokie.
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Wooaap lmfaaooo
ReplyDeleteL M F A O! ^^^^
ReplyDeleteanywhoo...ok, so like you think you perceive things differentle than anyone and blababa; i don't see why you would want to change that. maybe that's just a part of 'you' or whatever. i'm sure there are some ppl out there who feel the same way you do--they feel they are different because of how they perceive things and blabbaba. @ one point i was one of them & then i realized like ok humans are similar in many ways. i don't feel like going into depth, but blahhh. if you don't want to open up then don't. plain & simple.
Wooaap... Uhhh the way I percieve things makes me want to damn near attack people when they speak; that's why that needs to be changed. Of course those people are somewhere... some are scattered through society, some are prison, most are in Mental Institutions.
ReplyDeleteIDK y you didn't realize people are similar in many ways but I came to that realization early; that's why the African jokes used to hurt so much... my mind would tell me "they're not much diff from me so y do they insist on making me feel like an outcast?" Of course we're similar; we're all Foolish! but the particular aspect I wrote about is where I think we differ the most: PERCEPTION. No matter how similar I think we are I know our perceptions vary to like... INFINITE degrees. That's why we see different things in Rorschach Tests, We have quote unquote different religions but they're identical fundamentally, and the modern day one- misinterpetation of chat msgs. And I have the stttrrrannngest ability to read people and see who's fake, who is mean at heart, who's pretending... part of why I don't mingle alot. But... (conflicted) I realized everybody is phony (as people use it nowadays)to a certain degree.. all of us. IDK that's my take. Ohhh... abt opening up, I do but I dont... even if i put my mind to it to be completely transparent, you'd have to be around me for a long time to take everything in. It's too much to grasp within a standard friendship... Then again again I think most ppl are like that. IDK yo. L.I.F.E.
Okie Dokie? Okie Dokie.