So sometimes i sit and i wonder why i am the way i am.. as far as emotions, thought process, vocal intonations... all the things that make Edem "Edem". And often times i despise these things... but then sometimes I LOVE ME.`Like right now... right now i LOVE ME. I am satisfied with ME. I know that im in a good state of mind and i am at peace with ME.
You know, as confident and arrogant as I seem to some, my confidence in my abilities is often very low. Idk; I dread doing things in front of others but when i suck it up and execute, i usually do very well. Awards accolades etc, i've gotten them all but regardless, i still dread public exhibitions of ability.
But then sometimes my confidence level is sky high. Why? Idk.
Then another thing... my aggression and "meanness" to others. Sometimes i have absdolutely no affection or regard for others' feelings but then sometimes i'm the most considerate indidvidual. It's not something that i plan or put forth as a goal... this makes me wonder which one I am at heart: Nice or Mean. I can be so cold hearted at one moment and give the clothes off my back to the first person that asks... what am I? Conflicted
This also makes me wonder what the general perception is of me.. in the real world... I've been informed that I'm too aloof in school for people to rlly know me... Idk
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so like, i think that's why a lot of people have a hard time figuring you out. if you're conflicted & all, like they must get mixed signals that may scare them away. it's like driving on the highway & seing like a safe sign & then all of a sudden a dangerous/hazardous sign. the driver gets confused & junk and then like they try to exit a.s.a.p. haha, iknowwww you're gonna come at my analogy, but like Sua would get it. lol.
ReplyDeleteNah I got it... and you're right. And surprise!!! a normal analogy i understand lol
ReplyDeleteoh em gee! you ACTUALLY got it, for once lol.
ReplyDeleteyes. Okie Dokie? Okie Dokie.
ReplyDelete