So.... People are definately full of "it" O_o!!!

I could have an hour long conversation about how "full of it" some of my friends are, but anyone who actually knows I have a blog probably doesn't care to read that much crap about what I think so I'll (attempt to) condense.

1. You CANNOT blog, post a blog on facebook, THEN post it on some other rendom thingy... (idk what it called tumblr or something) and then complain that ppl dont read your ****. If people do't go out of their way to see/ read, we don't care about what is going on in your head (or at least what you claim is going on in your head). Question: If you are going through an epiphanic moment, and whatever you are thinking about is sincere, why do you have to broadcast a proposal of what you will be? If You are sincere, shouldn't I see this drastic change without you throwing it in my (everyone else's) face? SIMPLY PUT: your writing has more literary value than it has ever had morally because most things that you expel are full of "it". Stop reaching; blogging about who you are going to be has to be in the Top Ten Stupidest things 've ever heard. Afterall, actions speak louder than words. O_o



2. You claim that you understand me when I tell you things but then you do/say the same things and your perception of me remains the same. You are supposed to be the one who knows me best. <--- I have given up on you knowing me well and will settle for the fact that you at listen and act like you get it. Besides idt you really like me and I know that <---- probably doesn't matter to anyone but... my blog. O_o


3. Full of "it"- People have the tendency to say/write what looks/sounds nice. When what say out of your mouth or present in text completely conflicts with what you actually do, you are full of "it" That's it. It's really that simple. <--- Tough concept to grasp isn't it? NOT AT ALL O_o


4. So I know that I've gone through this whole transparency thing before but i'm going to talk about it again. My blog right? Righhhhhhhhtttt. =p. So yeah... I am not the only one who thinks that certain people are full of "it" but I'm the only one man enough (literally) to say it. See, she, he, they, know exactly what I'm talking about, but they won't let him, her them know....so he's got this perception that I don't like him even tho ppl who are closer to him have the exact same opinion but will say it to everyone but him. O_o!!!!!!!!!! Scary huh? Because if they do this to him why should I believe that they aren't doing this to me when they like him more? Should I be left to believe that they talk worse about me? "She's phony, He's fake! That's the type of people..." O_o!!!!!!

*(this question just came to me) Did it ever occur to you that you have a phobia of backstabbing because you do it to everyone else.



^^^ All this stuff leads me to where I am right now: I don't have friends. There was a point in time (like a week ago lol) that I said I didn't want to have them but last Thursay i realized that I didn't need to make that decision. Regardless of if I want them or not, they don't "want" me. This makes my job much easier- now I feel obligated to do what they do to me; lets all smile in each others face, use people like it's Ok O_o and then backstab... I mean that's how it's supposed to be right? O_o!! Not At All. But hey... 6 more months.


For the record, I wish that my peers liked me as much as i like them but like you've probably caught on to, I'm a misfit in this setting. There's like a status quo of behavior amongst the student body regardless of race, ethnicity of sex that i will never accept because beyond the walls of my school, that is not how poeple operate (at least on the whole).

UNACCEPTABLE

Sometimes I sit and wonder -
What have I done to you?
You seem to hate me,
But I only have love for you.
There's even some of you
Who say I'm lovable;
Make you happy and comfortable-
But you are the ones who treat like I don't belong-
The temporary substitute.
I feel like I should parry, but clearly I'm stuck with you
But I can promise you this:
IF I PUT YOU BEHIND ME, YOU WON'T LIKE WHAT'S IN FRONT OF YOU.
Nobody can grasp it
Even those I talk to
You cling for a minute
Then aww... I lost you
No amount of words
Every explanation
Is mush to your minds-
Blatant oxygen depravation
Casted away like the cast in a play
I play the game brash and we clash everyday
A class that I hate is the mass of my fate
So I fade to the back Tongue sharp as a blade
Then the blade man it cuts
From the heart to the guts
You see how quickly it turns into me when it was once us?